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▣ Utah Jazz vs. LeBron James

posted by Richard Rife on January 15th, 2010 at 5:04 PM

Last night, I took my son, Michael, to see the basketball game between the Utah Jazz and the Cleveland Cavaliers. Michael is a great athlete--and a great fan of "the King"--LeBron James. It cost me $150 a ticket to sit in the lower bowl--and it was worth it, sort of.

For $150 a ticket I want to see a full-out effort the whole game. But it seems to me, as an untrained observer, that the players "dog it" during the first half. "King James" looked like he wasn't even interested in the game until sometime in the third quarter. Even then, he didn't appear to be all that interested. He did seem fascinated, though, when "the Bear" (the Jazz mascot) rode a sled from the top of the arena down onto the floor.

I'm the least prudish religious person I know, but I think I'm going to stop attending professional sporting events unless I can sit in alcohol-free seating. I'm not sure there's an alchol-free section at Energy Solutions arena, but I know the Yankees have two sections reserved for people who don't want to sit by drunken morons.

Unfortunately, last night, in exchange for my $300, I got to sit in front of a row of beer-drinking Cleveland Cavalier fans who were talking so loudly I couldn't hear myself think. I'm pretty sure none of these delightful fans had an IQ of three digits. And yet, somehow, they thought I would like to hear every thought that passed through their beer-drenched brains. They were wrong. You see, I have a juris doctor degree; I have read Shakespeare; I have attended the Bolshoi Ballet in Moscow; I've attended shows on London's west side. I really didn't care what was pasing through their pea-brains.

And, these geniuses could not express themselves without frequent use of the f-bomb. Of course, I would have heard the same thing had I sat closer to Jerry Sloan and the players.

Toward the end of the evening, the guy behind me was angry because some of the Jazz fans cheered when LeBron fell down. He began yelling that the Jazz fans were classless because they were all a bunch of Mormons. Actually, I doubt most of the Jazz fans I saw at the game were Mormons, practicing ones anyway. But by then, I'd had enough, so I told the guy to shut his mouth, that I'd heard all I needed to hear from him. Actually, a few minutes later, he said he was sorry.

Back to the game itself. The Jazz were down by 12. And then, amazingly, with 3 or 4 minutes to go, they were up by 12. And then, the King took over the game. All of a sudden, he seemed interested. He made two amazing 3-pointers and managed to get his team up by 6 points. But in the last few seconds, his teammates missed freethrows. And at the buzzer, and undrafted rookie on a 10-day contract with the Jazz hit a 3-pointer to win the game by one point. Amazing!

Michael was sad, because he wanted LeBron to win. I was glad, because I wanted the Jazz to win. But again, I'm not going to professional sporting events any more if I have to sit by drunken morons. It is a bit of a mystery, though, how someone that dumb and that ignorant can afford $150 tickets and $7 beers.

last edited on January 15th, 2010 at 5:11 PM

Comments

Greg Jones says:

The Top Ten Places That Richard “You Can't Act That Way Around Me, I'm A Renaissance Man Who Has Seen The Bolshoi Ballet” Rife Should Realize Are Not Good Enough For Him

10. The waiting area in the Region 4 (Provo) office of the Probation and Parole Division of the Utah Department of Corrections
9. Laundromats
8. Any location on Redwood Road in Salt Lake City
7. The Hookah Collection shop at 198 West Center Street in Provo
6. The Union Bus Depot in Ogden
5. Chuck-A-Rama
4. Any traveling carnival that passes through his community
3. The Fiesta Days Rodeo in Spanish Fork
2. Panguitch
1. The lower bowl of Energy Solutions Arena during a Utah Jazz – Cleveland Cavaliers game

January 19th, 2010 at 10:41 PM

h says:

Umm, I hate to break this to you, but I have seen the Bolshoi, read Shakespeare, and seen a show on the West End too. I'm afraid your test needs upgrading.

January 16th, 2010 at 5:29 PM

Janet says:

I'm glad that you and Michael could go see his favorite player. You're a good Dad!

January 16th, 2010 at 9:53 AM

Jonn says:

Last year Judy and I went to a Jazz game--first one in years. I got the impression that these guys play too many games, because the lack of effort was so obvious (nothing like what we see in the much more entertaining college games). If I had dogged it on my high school team, coach would have pulled me right out. (Well, I wasn't in the games that much my varsity year anyway, but when I was, I gave it everything I had. I wanted to stay on the team and get as much playing time as possible.)

January 15th, 2010 at 5:40 PM

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